2 AM
by Jayni
Summary: In what could be her last moments, Max flashes back on her life and loves. 06.28 Uploaded the wrong file, but it's been fixed.


Max tried to soothe the distressed child inside her. Her left hand stroked the rounded fullness - there had only been three more months to go. It was as though she didn't notice the blood slicking her fingers. The pain from the two gunshots, one to her shoulder, the other to her side, were all secondary.

The only thing she felt was the baby inside her, stirring and frightened.

"It's alright…" she whispered. Her voice was trembling on the cusp of tears. "Momma's right here, and she won't leave you alone…" Even over the gunfire and explosions, she knew her child could hear her. Against the heat of the burning building around her, her right hand found that the beretta was cool to the touch. "This could be our time now, sweetheart, and it _will be_ alright." Her throat tightened as the movement within her stilled and her fingers easily found the trigger of the shotgun at her side.

Her mind flashed to Zack. The image of him blowing his brains out for her. Even though he came back, his heart was inside her, pulsing quicker now, reminding her of his sacrifice. Then Ben's face, eerily serene, with a broken neck, laid to rest at her hands. Holding Tinga in her arms… seeing Biggs strung up…

"We won't be alone. I promise, honey."

The flames were closing in, crawling down from the ceiling towards her. As she nestled the barrel of the gun under her chin, she could watch it burn, alive and vibrant.

Then she closed her eyes and squeezed the trigger.

---

"Max. _Max_." His hands were inescapable, cupping her face to look at him. "Open your eyes and look at me, dammit!"

She swallowed down the lump in her throat. Fear. Afraid if she opened her eyes she would have to face what she had tried to keep from him so long.

"You weren't supposed to come." Alec was the last person she expected to see. She hadn't seen him in over a year, not since they had broken it off. Not even when she left Terminal City. Especially not after she had moved in with Logan.

Alec was the last person she expected to come after her. Had she known, she would have known to keep running.

"You're pregnant." It was almost a question.

She could imagine the look of surprise on his face. Those wide green eyes, swirling with confusion and just a hint of disappointment. She wasn't showing yet, but she would be soon.

"… you wish --" Alec's voice was so soft, she wondered if human ears could have heard him. Some part of her betrayed her, opening her eyes so she could see the dazed expression on his face. He was reading her, the way only he could. "You wish the baby was mine. Mine, not Logan's."

Then her eyes shut quickly, as if to trap the tears before the shed. But then they wouldn't stop. They kept coming, and she didn't know how to make them stop. As though they refused to stay hidden any longer.

Her hands were over his, her nails digging into the back of his hands and wrists trying to pull away. She had to get away. She couldn't - wouldn't - hurt him anymore.

But all struggles were stilled by the velvet touch of his lips on hers.

Gentle. Urgent, but gentle.

---

He was pleading with her. Pulling the bag away from her. "I don't understand why you have to leave."

Max looked at Logan, the expression of confusion was slowly slipping from his face and quickly being replaced by raw hurt. "We can't go on like this." She could see in his eyes that some part of him knew it. Maybe, had always known it.

Even when he touched her now, ran his hands along her arms; even after being together for so long… she jumped back like he bit her.

They had fallen back together once the antigen had been stabilized. Not immediately, but in time, after her and Alec drifted further apart…

Alec was still in Terminal City, where the siege continued. She had called it home, for a time, but she didn't belong there. She was Manticore, but she had left so young... she didn't belong there. With so few of her original unit were left there, and the clear animosity towards her from the other transgenics - she couldn't stay. She couldn't be what they wanted.

She couldn't be what he wanted.

So she left. And now...

'Logan.'

So much time had passed, and things were so different, but she knew she couldn't let go. Wouldn't.

She should have been happy. She had a man that loved her. She was going to have a baby. Dr. Shankar told her a year ago that it wouldn't be possible. They treated the virus, but the damage was done.

And yet here she was. Pregnant. With _Logan's_ baby.

Beside her, he was upset. He didn't understand. He didn't know. "Just tell me what the doctor told you." Logan's jaw tightened. He would jump to the wrong conclusions, because that's what he did -- and she would let him believe it, because that's what she did. "Is it the virus back?"

Curling her fingers around the strap of her duffle bag, she knew she had to get as far away from all this as possible. Logan must have believed her stricken face was confirmation, because he took a full step back from her. Her throat tightened, remembering the first days of the virus, how all she wanted was to be with the man she knew she loved.

She felt that way again now, which was why she had to leave.

---

Looking across the city from the Space Needle so often for so long, it was becoming foreign to her. As the city began to morph into something else… once a home, and now a prison. In time, it might be impossible for even those who could pass as 'normal' to move in and out of Terminal City.

She heard him coming and when he sat down beside her, her arms stretched over her knees. She wouldn't look at him. There was plenty to say, no doubt, but it was all jumbled and twisted now with everything else going on.

"Max, I know it's going to get worse. But we'll get through this." He wasn't talking about the war. "We could... make this work. You and me." It had been a while since she'd heard Alec's voice shake that way. In fact, it reminded her more of post-Manticore Ben. Anxious and unsure, but still managed to sound fully certain - convinced.

Her chest tightened.

Alec was _not_ her brother.

Her gaze narrowed to her hand and the ring that rested there. "Alec. What do you want?"

"To be with y--"

"The future, Alec." Her legs stretched out then curled in again, crossing one another in front of her, like a bed for her hands. "Where do you see us in the future?"

"You and me?"

Her hair was falling over into her face, and she hazarded a glance at him. Now he was staring off into Seattle, but his expression was… almost hope.

"I imagine… you and me, some place."

"Where?"

"Doesn't matter. We'll be _together_. And safe." His hand took hers and pressed it into the cold metal of the Space Needle, holding it firmly. "Our unit. You and me." He clucked his tongue near her ear, "Joshua could be the dogman gone soldier gone babysitter guy thing… keep the little'uns busy while we 'get busy' on making more…" and she could feel him pressing a smile into her hair.

She could feel the prick of tears behind her eyes. She couldn't tell him. Wouldn't tell him. "I went today. To see Dr. Shankar."

The hair from her face was being pulled aside. So was the smile, as he leaned back to look at her. "So?"

"The virus has mutated again." She swallowed, her eyes drifting to her feet. "But they think they've stabilized an antigen."

She glanced up in time to see Alec's face harden. "_So_?"

'So, I love you, but I can't have kids.' The words were on the tip of her tongue, but even as she parted her lips she couldn't force them out. The virus in her system, though she had only been a carrier, with the several mutations, it was starting to break down her immunity. Affect her in unforeseeable ways.

She hadn't thought of the future either, not really. There was too much going on in the present. Rations, vigilante killings, fatalities in-house… she hadn't known the news that she probably won't be able to have a baby would affect her this much.

Her hand felt the urge to smooth over her womb, empty now and maybe, always.

Dr. Shankar said there were possibilities. Max's condition was unprecedented, anything could happen. But she no longer had faith in cures. Or antigens. Or treatments. Or anything.

Even with Alec in front of her, giving her so much of himself, having been there beside her through it all… she couldn't even find faith in him. Not enough to tell him the truth.

"Max. Pretend like I'm stupid like you say I am. Tell me what this _means_." His voice caught, and quickly the pain and confusion on his face turned to rage. "You're going back to Logan, aren't you." It was an accusation, but he said it like he knew it to be true already. "_Aren't you!_"

Her eyes found his, and she could see they were broken now.

---

When her eyes opened again, he was there. She didn't understand.

"You're awake."

She reached out with her senses. She could smell the rubbing alcohol, the powder from the latex. Bleach.

She felt his hand tighten around hers, dry lips pressing against her temple. "I told you it didn't matter."

Her throat was dry. She tried to speak but it came out as a half-cough. Her entire mouth was dry, and she heard the movement of water, and then felt ice chips pressed to her lips. She could feel the pads of his fingers on her lips and chin, took in his scent.

Feeling the ice melt in her mouth, her mind followed the path of the water down the back of her throat, cooling down her and soothing. She followed it further and then realized --

That she nearly tore the IV out of her arm when she reached for her belly. There was movement. "The baby--"

"She's fine, Max. You're both fine." And his hand was on hers on her belly and his lips were brushing across her hairline. Alec's voice shook, "It was close, so close-- I am _so_ sorry--"

Her eyes widened in shock at his apology, confused, her mouth open and ready to deny it--

"It's hard for me," he said coolly. He leaned back a little and got more ice chips for her.

She quieted and accepted the offering, watching his face intently.

"It's one thing to know it's not my child… but I can _scent_ it. We're animals, Max, I can't help--" He stopped and sucked in a low breath. "Sometimes it means I'll have the instincts of a Grade A jackass." His fingers were still moist and cool as they brushed across her forehead. "But you have to know how I feel, that I'd never want to lose you--" His hand squeezed over hers over her baby, "Either of you.

"Especially not to that breeding cult son of a bitch," he ground out. As she stiffened, he smoothed her hair and continued, "That very _dead_ breeding cult son of a bitch." Max tilted her head slightly in question, and Alec nodded. "I promise you that it was slow." And then he ended with a kiss, the first she'd awakened, but perhaps for a long time before that. She couldn't remember how far back, but it didn't matter.

Gentle. Urgent - full of need, want and love - but gentle.

Her child, her daughter, moved inside of her. They both felt it. Max gazed into his green eyes, and a soft sigh escaped her lips.

"Will you let me make us okay, Max?" Her eyebrows drew together, thinking she heard him wrong. "Will you let me make us okay?"

The second time, she knew she hadn't misheard him, but the words weren't processing correctly. His smile was soft, bemused, like maybe it was okay she didn't get it because she didn't have to.

"Remember that day on the Space Needle--"

"Which one?" she managed. If her throat hadn't been so dry she might have laughed. Was he purposefully being vague? Wasn't that _her_ M.O.? The familiar rise of idle annoyance he drew out of her came as a comfort.

"The day I thought you were leaving me for Logan."

Her chest tightened.

So much time had passed, things were so different now.

... weren't they?

She felt him raise her chin, and his eyes found hers.

"That future we were talking about?"

She swallowed down a lump in her throat, frozen in his gaze.

"Well, _surprise!_" It was barely a whisper, even for a transgenic. And he was smiling, his entire face lit up and certain.

She closed her eyes. His lips moved over hers and she could feel the smile on her lips, the warmth of his hands. He pulled away, brushing her hair from her face, spreading her face with kisses the moving to her belly for the same treatment. He was whispering little things, and had she tried, she could listen. But as she felt the corner of his smile through the thin hospital gown, she felt safe. They were safe, in their unit, and that's all that mattered.


End file.
